At Home in Your Wildness
“When a woman is at home in her wildness, rooted in her instincts, and attuned to the voice of her deepest knowing, she is a formidable presence…[and] thunders after injustice.”
—Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who run with the Wolves
art by Valistika Studio
Anger is a manifestation of our personal power and healthy aggression. It is our body's natural response to threat. (Read here about four other reasons our anger is a holy force. )
In addition to unhelpful myths about anger, our social conditioning as women often inhibits us from accessing our anger and therefore our sense of agency and our capacity to take action.
Our physical responses to external threats are deeply encoded in our bodies.
Ideally, when a threat comes, we have access to all our nervous system’s auto options–fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. And we can employ whichever one will maximize our safety in the moment.
However, if we learn early on, as many of us do, that it isn’t safe for us to get angry or show healthy aggression, we often can’t access our fight and flight responses when we need them most.
Our anger itself registers as a threat, and so goes offline.
We then get stuck in freezing (shutting down) or fawning (seeking to appease others) when we are under duress. This can block us from taking necessary action to protect ourselves and others. I wonder if you can relate?
In order to reclaim our anger and shift this stuck pattern, we need access to healthy aggression.
Play is one way to come into safe contact with our anger. All animals, including humans, use play to learn and practice the skills we need for life.
We are never too old to learn or to play!
AN INVITATION TO ROLE-PLAY
Become a wild one. Choose an animal predator who inspires you, such as a panther or lion.
Make sure you have a safe space to do this practice freely. (If you have children, you might choose to do this practice with them.)
You might put on some ambient music or nature sounds to help you connect to the scene. Consider what other support would help you to deepen the experience?
Choose a timeframe, 10-30 minutes is good, to take on this animal's persona. Allow their animal instincts to become your own. Move around your space as if you were this wild one.
What do they see, smell, hear? How does it feel to be in their skin?
Mark off a territory that is yours, that you are claiming as this animal. How much room does this wild one need for themselves?
Feel the power of this animal in your own body. Push against the ground and feel your muscles flex. Crouch in a leaping position, and feel your pouncing power. Growl, roar, snarl, snap, and notice the power of this animal’s voice in your throat. Have fun being this animal enjoying themselves in their space.
Now imagine a small threat comes into this animal’s space, such as another smaller animal (nothing too serious here).
If this animal felt threatened how would they behave? What sounds would they make? How would they move their facial muscles? What physical gestures would they make?
Spend some time playing as this animal defending themselves from this minor threat. Allow yourself to show some healthy aggression to defend your animal body and your physical space. Notice how it feels in your own system.
Imagine yourself successfully removing the threat. How does this animal want to settle their system after such an encounter? Is there still energy in the body that needs to be discharged? Try shaking it off.
Allow yourself to do what you need to come to rest. What does it feel like to be this animal at rest? Enjoy your animal body at rest.
You might journal or make some art about your experience afterwards.
Learning to show healthy aggression is important to reclaiming our wholeness.
Here are a few other ways to practice healthy aggression:
Free your voice by making wild sounds in the car or in the shower. Explore the wide range of odd, fierce, and “inappropriate” sounds of which you are capable.
Free your face from the mask of polite society by making aggressive and disorderly faces while looking in the mirror. (another fun one to do with kids!)
Push against a wall while yelling “NO!” to feel the force and power of setting a boundary.
Playing with our range of healthy aggression and expression gives us access to the fullness of our humanity. It enables our energy to flow freely, and it helps us tap into the power and possibility of our sacred rage.
Pssst….know someone who might like this post? Pass it on!
The invitations in this post are based on invitations from Kimberly Ann Johnson’s wonderful book: Call of the Wild
Tending to our sacred fire is an important aspect of the work I do as a 1:1 Soul Companion. Click to learn more.
What to read more? Check out these related posts:
Hello, dear one. I’m Stephanie.
As a Soul Companion, educator, and sacred space holder, I am passionate about deepening our connection to the earth, our bodies, and the divine mystery that dances in all that is.
Let’s journey together into the sacred wild!
